Super Women

So my five year old came home and told me that she wanted to be Spiderman..! I told her that she is a girl so she would be spiderwoman not spiderman, her reply was “nah Spiderwoman is not cool I want to be Spiderman”…!!! At that moment I was like say what, did this 5 year old child just say that boys are cooler than girls.. but I thought hang on Marcia don’t over react maybe she just didn’t like Spiderwoman’s outfit so thinks Spiderman is cooler so I let it slide… Then a couple of days later it came up again and this time I said “but why don’t you be Super girl Maya cause you’re not a boy, you’re a girl”, then she said “nah mom I want to be a boy they cooler than girls”…. Aahhh then the feminist in me was like ohh hell no missy you best believe that girls are just as cool as boys if not even cooler…!!!

Ok so I know this may seem like a huge contradiction to some people cause I am a stay at home mom and I depend on my husband for a lot so how can I be all like girl power, miss independent, sisters doing it by themselves type vibe… But here’s what this 5 year old doesn’t know I come from a family filled with women who are strong, independent, faced adversity and come out ontop , real life hero super women…. Let me start with my mom, growing up mom always told me that the only gift in this world she could leave me with was an education so that if one day she wasn’t there she knew if I was educated I could stand on my own two feet. So my mom did everything just to make sure I had a degree to my name, in secondary school this meant sitting at the back of the car ontop of cabbages from the farm so mom could resell the cabbages to make school fees money, it meant her going from motel to motel selling hand soaps to generate income.. My mom hustled and hustled hard… No matter what life threw my moms way, she took it and overcame it, she went through two companies going through liquidation and still didn’t give in and even when times were tight and mom and dad spilt up my mom insisted I get a degree.. My mom and my aunt (who is a power woman as well, raised four kids on her own after my uncle passed away) opened a restaurant and would work some days from as early as 5am to as late as 2am doing functions to put my cousin Curtis and I through university… Graduating and seeing the look of pride on my moms face is a memory that is etched in my mind for ever, my graduation picture is on my moms wall and hung with so much pride you would think I am a brain surgeon with how proud my mom is of me ha ha ha ha… My mom has taught me many lessons in life but determination and kindness are two of the most important lessons I have learnt…

My mother in law is another dynamic woman who is so inspirational, after her husband (Craig’s dad passed away) she was left with debt but still had to educate her children she drove to Zimbabwe to buy plants to sell in Zambia, opening a nursery and doing landscaping..From giving up her house and making it into a guest house with only 4 rooms, she has turned that small business into a well renowned lodge with over 46 rooms and conference facilities.. This is just the tip of what my mother in law has accomplished…I don’t even have to look hard for women in our family who are successful, every corner I turn there is a different story to tell of a new superwoman… From my aunt who raised my two cousins Jacqui and Steph after my uncle passed away so suddenly, to my cousin Nico who is a single mom who worked and saved money to go to beauty school and now owns her own beauty parlour, she is raising my niece Gabriella who is just the most wonderful child you will meet and now on her way to university…. My twin chartered accountant cousins who are always off travelling the world and working in high places…After her divorce my cousin Talli was raising my two gorgeous nephews on her own and doing an amazing job in England where you have to do it all, my cousin Steph owns her own gym, my friend Carla being the youngest principal ever promoted at her school and introducing a dynamic teaching system in her school, my cousin Bev raising two girls in England after having to leave everything behind in Zimbabwe and start a new life with nothing to her name now my one niece is in university and my other niece was a finalist in top model and in magazines…. This isn’t even all of my family there are more stories to tell and if I had to talk about all my inspirational friends I could probably write a novel…

I know there are millions of women who do this every day, but thats the thing you see my kids need to hear this, they need to know about the unsung stories of trails and tribulations and how these super women over came them… Thats why in Africa story telling about ancestors around the fire is such an important part of growing up, because if kids never hear these things they will never know that ordinary people can be extraordinary… You see for someone in a different situation a child graduating maybe just an ordinary thing, but for us I was the first person in my moms whole family to get a degree and so that one piece of paper that my mom sacrificed so much for stands for so much…And for me growing up seeing what my mom went through to get me this means that piece of paper is worth more than just the writing it contains… My girls and particularly Maya enjoys more toys or clothes that are designed and marketed for boys thats always been fine with me because every toy encourages a learning opportunity and so what she plays with must be of interest to her…but I do however have a problem with her thinking boys are cooler than girls because she must know she is second to none, she is just as cool as any boy.. And actually now I think abut it I retract my initial statement I can teach her about girl power and miss independent, sisters doing it for themselves cause yes there are times when I am not my strongest but there are some times I put my super woman cape on and sort shit out…!! My husbands job means he is away for the most part of the week and when he is gone its me holding down the house and there have been moments when its all over I think how I came out of it I have no idea but you do, you just survive… I remember so clearly Craig having to leave to go to work a week after Cianna was born, baptism by fire thats how it went down thats all I can say but I am here to tell the tale so that counts for something ha ha ha ha ha…

Things have to change these kids need an attitude adjustment, thinking girls aren’t cool! WHAT!  Really its too much..I mean these kids think dolls aren’t cool…!!! I mean really look at barbie this plastic doll is a woman icon she has people like Vera Wang and Jimmy Choo designing outfits for her 50th birthday ha ha ha ha ha…..and lets be serious who is ken without Barbie…? She may not be everyones favourite but she took pink and glitter and built a fashion empire out of that, so even if they don’t like her style they must admire her business sense ha ha ha ha.. My girls need to learn to appreciate that strong is the new pretty, to be courageous, to believe that God has a plan for them and being a girl is part of his perfect plan…

But you know you do your best to give your kids more than what you had growing up, but I realise its also important for them to know where you came from so they came appreciate what they have…. My mom would always tell me how lucky I was cause I had things compared to what she had and half the time I just rolled my eyes but I understand why now… And this is where I thought I haven’t done more as a mom to show Maya how many great women there have been whether its in history or even just in our family… So when Cherelle for My Daily Cake wrote a review on the book “Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls” by Francesca Cavallo and Elena Favilli I knew we needed this book! The book is all about inspirational women through our times and their courageous stories…From astronauts, to judges, to artists, to engineers  its filled with heroic women…Each woman has a one page story with a beautiful individual designed portraits of them… Some of the descriptions are above the age level of the girls so I simplify it for them and sensor some parts… So here is how it goes down in our house, I read them the story and then every night quiz them on what we learnt about and if they give me the right answer I give them a jelly baby ha ha ha ha ha just kidding so far we pick the picture of the portrait the girls like and then read them that story, except Frida Khalo I picked her because she is an artist and I love her and her art and so wanted the girls to know about her ha ha ha ha…So far we have read about Grace O’Malley who is a pirate, Ashley Fiolek a motocross rider, Maya Gabeira who is a surfer Maya found her page  just cause she has Maya’s name and she recognised her name in print thats why we read about her, Serena and Venus who play tennis… I am looking forward to more of our reading sessions and to be honest I am learning new discoveries too, this book is fabulous…

I love the tradition of Mexicans keeping pictures on the ofrendas in their homes to remember people and what they did and honouring their lives… And so I guess it would be a good idea to be a little less vain and have more family pictures not just the girls and us ???? And also more books and stories of the past and present women who are courageous examples that the girls can learn from….These are just a few ideas I’m going to use to keep my girls grounded and remind them that they can be anything..!!

If you have any books you can recommend for the girls please share with us we love learning about new books… I would definitely recommend buying this book…!!! P.s my mom never reads my blogs cause she says she can’t be bothered with all this technology but mom thank you, you did great I turned out pretty awesome I think ha ha ha ha ha just kidding mom I love you… I should also mention that this is not a sponsored post, my cousins and family did not bribe me to write kind things about them, although if they wanted to buy me a Louis Vuitton bag after this I wouldn’t stop them ha ha ha ha… Even though they are small teach them to have big dreams..!

love