Paint night was marked and circled on the calendar and I was looking forward to this day like you don’t understand..!!! One night where I could go out with friends, paint, have some drinks and a few laughs.. this was exactly what my soul needed..! So I counted down the days till it finally arrived… before I go on let me explain, paint night is a night at a restaurant where you have a canvas and some paints and an instructor walks you through step by step how to create your version of a piece of art they have created… you can order drinks and food to have while you paint.. sounds like the perfect way to spend the evening right… mmmmmhhhh as my luck would have it, it was a DISASTER!!!
Picture this scene my make up is done, hair done, I have expressed milk for the baby so am good to go…Cue first child to start crying over not wanting to eat her dinner,cue second child joining in cause child one is crying…what happens next husband looses all patience and insists dinner is eaten (as parents do of course, but tonight really ?), cue more crying… mom walks in then cue you guessed it more crying and this time added with mom dont leave me…!!! Then the mom instincts kick in so you try to calm the kids while half looking at the clock, there goes pre drinks with the girls..
Next dilemma Mattea doesn’t want her bottle with expressed milk.. so now picture this am in my good bra you know the one that makes me look good not a breastfeeding bra,so now I have to undress and feed while crying child 2 is hanging on me.. so I make the decision to take Mattea with me incase she wakes up and take leah (our God sent maid) to watch her while I paint… cue more crying cause Mattea is coming…
Jump into the car and try to leave, look up and there they are at the door crying… Craig comes to take them but already am a mess.. but I think they are with their dad they will survive I need this night… arrive at my destination with just a minute to spare, settle Mattea and leah and find my spot on the table, sit and then it all sinks in the guilt…!!! But I think let me just do it I have paid, am here let me just try but in my heart am wondering I hope Mattea won’t wake up so I don’t have to feed in the restaurant am in my good bra, and I hope the kids didn’t cry themselves to sleep…
Really I tried to relax, I mean I had been waiting for this for so long..!! But the more the instructor gave the instructions the more anxious I got… I couldn’t keep up, my trees looked more like elephants, I made mistakes, it was stressful.. I kept looking round thinking mine looks nothing like that..I do this often I think that mom looks so organized I need to organize my diaper bag like that.. that mom is so fit I need to get to gym, those snacks look so healthy I need to give my kids better food and so the list goes on…then I beat myself up when I don’t do it then have to pick myself up again it’s a vicious cycle..!!! But the key is am aware and working on my insecurities but I digress back to painting…
Time to paint leaves the instructor says and I think how is it possible i am finding it difficult to add leaves, really leaves…!!! The only thing that may have helped was a drink sometimes these situations call for a calming shot of vodka..!! Then I remembered I still had to feed Mattea, scrap that idea and back figuring out where the leaves should go , again I
reiterate leaves really leaves..!!!
Finally it was done.. thank goodness cause I really couldn’t wait…! 3 hours of painting pain..!! Mattea slept through which was the best part of the evening… got home kids and hubby fast asleep tucked in bed.. Woke up the next morning and looked at my painting and still disliked it, like I did the night before, showed it to craig and his response was “what is it supposed to be” really could it not get any worse ????
After a week passed the disappointment of my one supposed soul feeding night… I reflected back why didn’t I enjoy it… then it came to me I was in a situation I couldn’t control.. sometimes kids have a bad day too, sometimes so do spouses, sometimes you get handed a paint brush that doesn’t work (this is my excuse and I am sticking to it)… but at the paint night I was following someone else’s instructions instead of listening to the advice they gave in the beginning and that was to make the painting my own… I saw the one lady had a day sky instead of sunset and at the time I thought that’s not what it’s meant to be, but now I understand it.. it’s meant to be what you want it to be… same with parenting I need to just find my own rhythm and style and trust that it’s right…
So I am keeping my painting (even though I wish accidentally the kids would spill something on it ha ha ha) to remind me that when I do it how I think it’s meant to be done rather than how I want it done I end up with elephant trees ???
So here are my tips if you planning a paint night:
1. Go with a good friend..!! So if it’s been a crappy day they know what to do to get you right…
2. Have no expectations
3. Make the painting your own… change colours if you feel like it, use the brush you want.. they just giving you guidelines you make it your own (I know this now ??)
4. Don’t look over at your neighbours painting, you do you..!
5. Make the best of it, after all you have paid for it..if you can’t then that’s ok too..
6. Learn from you disappointment, no mistakes, remember that you can be disappointed but it’s not a mistake..!! Then find something perfectly imperfect in it…
7.Laugh
And that’s a wrap, the wisdom of paint night in a nutshell…
Love
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